This month I’m going to focus on all the moms out there! I like to call it the month of mom. Even if you aren’t a mom, some of these tips and strategies will still be helpful for you this month, so I hope you’ll give it a read.
Prioritize Yourself during the Month of Mom
One of the most important things to make a priority not just this month but on a regular basis, is with self-care. It’s kind of like putting your own mask on first before putting on the mask of your child in the event of an airplane emergency: you can’t expect to take care of others if you don’t first take care of yourself. It’s worth taking this a step further and noting that you shouldn’t feel guilty about this either.
All too often (like, on a daily basis) moms put themself last because there are so many other things to do, other people to care for, and the list gets longer and longer. It’s vital to remember that you can’t sustain this if you don’t take care of yourself first and foremost.
Have you ever been sick and needed to stay in bed all day? A few days? Your family figured it out and somehow life went on during those times. It may not have been to your standards of perfection (perhaps your kids ate cookies for dinner), but guess what? Everyone survived.
Now think about if you took just 15 minutes a day for yourself to work on your physical and mental health. You would build up your immunity, decrease your stress, and reduce your chances of being sick for days at a time. Not only would you feel good about yourself, but your improved mood and well-being would spill over into how you show up for others.
What does the best version of yourself look like?
What are you wearing, eating, and doing each day? How much sleep are you getting? What are you doing to address your mental health? Physical health? What are you feeling? What is your facial expression? Take a few minutes and write this vivid description down about yourself. Put it in a place that is visible to you on a daily basis, such as a note to yourself on your bathroom mirror, a sticky note on your calendar, an alarm on your phone, or in a journal.
The point is that you need to work toward the best version of yourself every day. When this happens, you will feel better, stress less, and live in the moment with your loved ones.
Here are a few tips and strategies to get to the best version of yourself every day:
- Schedule 15 minutes with yourself every day. If you can get this solo time for longer stretches, that’s even better! But with kids needing your attention during their every waking minute (and sometimes when they’re not awake), stealing time away for 15 minutes a day is a good starting point for a goal.
- Create a strategy to increase physical activity. We all know the positive effects of physical activity, but remaining consistent is key. Here are a few easy strategies to get in those daily steps and increase your heartrate:
- Put your child(ren) in a stroller and make a daily walk part of your routine.
- What do you live close to? Consider walking your child to daycare, school, the library, community playground, or local store.
- Park at the end of lots when shopping. Bonus: you’ll likely have empty spaces around you, giving you more room to open car doors, maneuver kids, organize the grocery bags, and easily pull out of your parking space.
- Teach your children the fun, classic games and activities that involve movement, such as tag, hide-and-seek, jump rope, and hop scotch.
- Commit to doing yoga, Pilates, or some other form of guided movement while your children are napping or otherwise occupied. You can find a lot of guided videos online of your favorite activity.
- Wake up just 15 minutes earlier so you can have “me time.”
- Make it fun and involve your children. For example, have a “word of the day.” Every time someone in your family says the word, everyone has to do 10 jumping jacks.
- Make a list of 3-5 things you like to do that bring you joy, peace, calm, and re-energize your mind and body. Strategize on how you can carve out time each week to do these things. Every little bit helps. Plan it out and write it on your calendar, preferably a family calendar so everyone can see that you have a weekly appointment with yourself.
- Ask your spouse or significant other to help you out with the kids every day so you can have uninterrupted time. (Remember, parenthood is a partnership, so if your spouse/significant other is not pitching in to help, then you’ve got a different problem on your hands. I’m not a marriage therapist, so I suggest seeking out professional help with this if you don’t have the support you need. Notice I said NEED, not want. Every mom NEEDS support.) If you don’t have a spouse or significant other, then don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask a neighbor, friend, relative, or other trusted person for help.
- Delegate help from your kids. Create 1-2 daily chores that your child can help you with. For example, teach your toddler to put all of their toys into a box, all clothes into a hamper, and all shoes into a storage bin. For young elementary aged children, teach them how to remove bed sheets and pillowcases and throw them into the washing machine, wipe down flat surfaces, or help with cooking. One of the keys is to make this a daily routine so you can fade away the support you provide. There are lots of resources online for age appropriate chores. It’s never too early to teach your child household responsibility.
- Purge. I’ve mentioned this before and talk about this is a lot in my live workshops and courses. “Stuff” is overwhelming and causes undue stress. We honestly don’t need to surround ourselves with things in order to be happy. Make purging a weekly activity, but be sure not to replace those things with more stuff! Donate to a local charity or join your local Buy Nothing group on social media so you can feel good giving it all away to your local neighbors. For example, each Sunday I batch this task by posting 3-5 items on our Buy Nothing group so everything gets picked up by mid-week. It’s such a great feeling to not only purge but to give back to my local community to people who can use what I no longer need.
- Plan a monthly self-care extended block of time. While I used to paint my toenails because I am perfectly capable of doing it and didn’t want to pay someone else to do something I can do myself, I realized that a good pedicure not only makes me feel happy about my feet, but it’s an hour of time that I can relax, read a book, and enjoy someone taking care of me. (Yes, a whole hour! If I’m going to schedule the time, I schedule the full experience. I go to a place that also offers a foot massage, warm towels, a glass of wine, and a shoulder massage at the end.) I now schedule out my pedicures about 4 weeks in advance and get them done every 6-8 weeks (more often in the summer months). This way I can not only plan ahead with work and other duties, but it goes on the family calendar so my spouse knows he needs to hold down the fort. He, too, can then plan in advance for this. It only takes up about 90 minutes total for me, but the happiness (and polish) last for weeks. What makes you happy that you can schedule for 1-2 hours on a monthly basis?
- Use a daily app to remind you to take a break and to track this habit goal for you. Three are loads of apps out there that can help you with this. My favorite is a daily meditation app where I can choose between 3-20 minutes of guided breath work and meditation time. I also use a daily workout app that takes 30 minutes or less and tracks my habit streak for me. Seeing the consistency and checkmarks encourages me not to skip a day.
- Sleep. This is the time that our brain and body needs to build our immunity, improve our cognitive abilities such as memory and concentration, enhance our mood regulation, repair muscles, and support a healthy metabolism. If you aren’t getting at least 6-7 hours of sleep per night, prioritize this as an appointment with yourself. At the end of the day, no one cares what your house looks like, so stop believing that you need to clean when your kids are sleeping. Depending on the temporary stage of life you’re in right now with your children, you may need to shift your mindset to sleep whenever your children are sleeping. This is one of the best things you can do for yourself to ensure optimal functioning with your kids during waking hours.
Amidst the hustle and bust of daily life, taking time to care for yourself becomes vital.
Whether it’s through relaxation techniques, indulging in hobbies, focusing on sleep, or seeking support from loved ones, “May” you (pun intended) be inspired and motivated this month to carve out time for rejuvenation and activities that simply make you happy! By acknowledging the importance of self-care during this special month, we not only honor the nurturing spirit of moms but also recognize our own worthiness of love, compassion, and well-being.